this time i decided to post something other than a regurgitation of my entire day or week… enjoy…
| Are computers Male or Female? Decide for yourself! | ||
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| Reasons to believe computers are Female: | Reasons to believe computers are Male: | |
| 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. | 1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. | |
| 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. | 2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem. | |
| 3. The message “Bad command or file name” is about as informative as, “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m certainly not going to tell you”. | 3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model. | |
| 4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. | 4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. | |
| 5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. | 5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night. | |
The User’s Prayer
Dear God,
Help me log on without fretting
Guide me as I’m interneting
Bless my downloading and uploading
Keep my browser from exploding.
May my website be protected
Let not my password be rejected
Keep my line connection clear……
and let tech support be always near!
Please keep all my programs alive,
and be sure to back up my hard drive!
And protect my computer from catching
……a virus and end up crashing!
Amen
12 Step Program of Recovery for Web Addicts
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.
7) I will read a book… if I still remember how.
I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime… and the Web will always be there tomorrow!


























